What A Twin Peaks-Stranger Things Crossover Could Look Like

On June the 12th, Kyle MacLachlan shared an image of himself with Stranger Things actor, David Harbour on his Facebook page. The image contained a link to an “Actors on Actors” interview between the two. You can watch the half hour approx interview on You Tube, it contains fascinating insights including how Kyle formed a working relationship with David Lynch and the struggles experienced by Harbour during the filming of Stranger Things Season One

As a fan of both shows, I imagined what it would be like if the worlds of Twin Peaks and Stranger Things collided, here’s my thoughts. I consider myself to be a pretty big Twin Peaks fan and I realise some might balk at the idea of a TP/ST crossover. Please keep in mind that Twin Peaks can be very funny in places and Stranger Things has moments of genuine darkness, it’s not inconceivable!

Lets ditch any ‘canon’ for now and have some fun! The town of Hawkins is overrun by demidogs but they have someone with them. For the first time, strange lumberjack like men with scorched engine oil on their faces join the demidogs in the wholesale destruction of the town. They chant eerie hypnotic mantras that send their victims to sleep before crushing the heads of those poor victims. Some simply wander around asking for a light and terrifying the locals.

Sheriff Hopper and the team are outnumbered and they need help. Even Eleven is unable to fend off this deadly combo of evil woodsmen and rabid denizens of the upside down.

In an effort to find a solution, Eleven switches on the TV and dons her blindfold. Upon entering the darkness, she sees a strange talking teapot in a dark dingy room. The talking teapot tells Eleven to ‘seek the blue rose’ before fading away….

Eleven bursts into the Sheriff’s office and stammers the words ‘Blue Rose.’ Hopper seems to remember something, he thinks for a while before deciding to call an old friend in Snoqualmie….

The phone rings at the Twin Peaks Sheriff Dept. Lucy Brennan picks up the phone. It’s Sheriff Hopper asking for his old friend, Tommy. Lucy diverts the call to Deputy Hawk’s office (you can see the Log Lady’s log mounted on the wall behind him). They talk for a while, Hopper explains the situation he is facing and asks if Hawk knows anything about a ‘Blue Rose.’ To this, Hawk immediately responds “You need to get Gordon Cole” and gives him the number to the FBI HQ.

Hopper calls Cole and after a long exasperating conversation with the deaf FBI director, manages to get him on board. Cole tells Hopper “WE’RE ON OUR WAY BUDDY, JUST HANG TIGHT.” At this point, Agent Dale Cooper emerges from a lift and makes his way to Gordon’s office. Seeing Dale, Gordon exclaims “COOP! IT’S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN MY FRIEND, WE NEED YOUR HELP”, “You Do?” Cooper replies quizzically, “YES” replies Cole “WE’RE GOING TO HAWKINS, INDIANA”

A three-man Blue Rose team arrives in Hawkins- Agent Cooper, Gordon Cole and an out of retirement Denise. The engage in some congenial banter with Hopper & Co. Hopper enjoys some ‘damn fine coffee and cherry pie’ while team Blue Rose enjoy some ‘damn good waffles.’ Seeing the puzzled expression on Hopper’s face, Cooper explains that Denise “may seem like just a pretty face but he once saved my life.”

Learning of the problems in Hawkins, Cooper says he will need to take Eleven with him. Cooper and Denise will stay with Hopper while Cooper and Eleven attempt to solve the problem with the woodsmen and the demidogs. Cooper warns that things ‘may not be the same’ when this is all done and that there are no guarantees things will work out.

Coop and Eleven begin their journey into the surrounding woods around Hawkins. Eleven proves useful in taking out a few Woodsmen on the way. They eventually make it to a point where a swirling portal appears in the sky.

Cooper and Eleven are transported to the realm of The Fireman where he presents them both with a series of visual clues including a huge demigorgon emerging from a well of scorched engine oil surrounded by sycamore trees. Upon their return from the Fireman’s realm, Cooper realises that they “need to pay Phillip a visit.”

Back in Hawkins, Gordon and Denise prove themselves to be an asset to Hopper’s team. They fight the Woodsmen and the demidogs back to the Hawkins lab. They make their way inside reaching the cordoned off entrance to the upside down. Here they find a grown up Pierre Tremond wearing the jumping man mask. Pierre snaps his fingers and Hopper sees the red curtains flash before his eyes.

Hopper is transported to the red room where Cooper stayed for 25 years. He sees Bob Newby and Barbara Holland, they speak to him in a weird forwards backwards manner of talking. Hopper sees a double of himself approaching, the double has blazing white eyes and a face of pure hatred. Bob tells Hopper “You must go now” and Barbara hurriedly escorts Hopper through the corridors of the red room with the double in pursuit. Barbara parts the curtains of the red room and urges Hopper to “GO! GO NOW!” as the Hopper double destroys Bob with flames.

Back in Hawkins, Cooper and Eleven return to the Sheriff station where Cooper borrows a police car. They drive for what seems like forever in almost complete silence until they stop at a desolate side road in the middle of nowhere. Cooper waits patiently until a convenience store materialises out of nothingness. A phone rings, Cooper picks up the phone and electricity sparkles.

Our two heroes find themselves in a dark room with the talking teapot. “Phillip, this is Eleven” says Cooper in an authoritative tone. “I know” Jeffries hisses “We’ve met before.” “We need to help these people, Phillip” implores Cooper. “Don’t you think you’re missing somebody important?” Jeffries asks. The infinity loop appears, the ball rolls in the loop until it stops but no date can be seen. Once again the electricity sparkles, lighting up the whole room and our two heroes travel somewhere back in time.

Our heroes arrive in a pit facing a huge well of scorched engine oil, a massive white coloured demigorgon shrieks and flails at our heroes. Eleven tries to fight the demigorgon with all her might before collapsing from exhaustion. A powerless Cooper can only watch.

Seeing Eleven in peril, he quietly murmurs “Laura, are you here?” Laura Palmer emerges from the sycamore trees and lets out an ear piercing shriek as Cooper picks up Eleven in his arms and says “See you at the curtain call.”

Hopper wakes up in Glastonbury Grove, Twin Peaks, dazed and confused. A little while later, Deputy Brennan finds him on a routine patrol through the woods and takes him back to the station.

Cooper and Eleven find themselves in the red room. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you home” Cooper reassures Eleven. He takes Eleven through the corridors and opens up the curtains to exit Glastonbury Grove. A little while after our heroes exit the red room, a demidog and a frogbug like creature emerge from the scorched engine oil and scuttle away into the woods.

Cooper reunites Eleven with Hopper at the Twin Peaks Sheriff Dept and asks Deputy Briggs to make arrangements to get them back to Hawkins. “Do you still remember everything?” he asks Eleven to which she replies “Yes, Blue Rose.” Cooper vanishes into thin air right in front of everyone and Deputy Briggs gets ready to escort a still confused Hopper and fully enlightened Eleven back home.

So that was my attempt at Stranger Things/Twin Peaks crossover, inspired by a conversation between Kyle MacLachlan & David Harbour. If you liked it, please consider sharing it on your socials and thanks for reading!

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